Showing posts with label recipe failing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recipe failing. Show all posts

Sunday, April 11, 2010

What Is & What Should Never Be: Brownies

(You got me - the title of this post is totally a play on one of my all-time favorite songs, from pretty much my all-time favorite band, Led Zeppelin.)


(sorry for the iPhone-quality photo)

Brownies. I love them. Seriously...there are so many brownie recipes that are

absolutely,
sinfully
amazing
&
wonderful.

There are also some super-easy tricks for baking brownies, that can make a delicious difference, even to a standard box of Duncan Hines.

However, there are some brownie recipes out there, even from my most faithful&trusted recipe resources, that really baffle my culinary mind.

(& God knows, I'll try just about anything sweet!)

In fact...my own dear Betty Crocker Homemaker of the Year mama...is repeatedly committing what I consider a brownie-baking sin.

(More on that later.)

What is:


It is my opinion that Duncan Hines chocolate lover's double fudge brownie mix...

...is the best brownie mix you can buy at the grocery store.


When baking with this mix, using the recipe for the fudgy brownie option...

...is a better choice than using the recipe for the cake-like brownie option.

(& this option uses less eggs & more water, so that's just gotta be better for you, right? ;))


The "secret" to making brownies from a boxed mix taste better-than-average delicious...

...is to substitute whole milk for water.

(So much for better for you, I know. But they're brownies...gotta do 'em right!)


Finally, from-scratch brownies are usually superior to the boxes. So here...

...is a list I've compiled of brownie recipes I am hoping to bake sometime!



(source: the Kitchn)



(source: Bake at 350)



(source: Bakerella)



(source: Picky Palate)



(source: Southern Plate)






(source: Martha Stewart)

What should never be:



(source: the Kitchn)

Call me crazy, but I believe that brownies (desserts in general, really)...

...should never be the place where you experiment with random ingredients&spices.

If you follow that link, you will find a recent post from one of my all-time favorite foodie blogs, the Kitchn. Obviously, I love them. One of my "to-bake" brownie recipes above is also from their site.

But, OMG, some of these suggestions...for brownies?!?!?!

Just no.

No.

Brownies, for me, are a sweet tooth indulgence. They are a comfort food. While it's fun to try different brownie recipes, I think the standard for a fabulous brownie should remain fairly consistent. If I've gone to the effort to bake homemade brownies, & am consuming the amount of calories that brownies contain; they'd darned well better taste like the

rich,
indulgent
chocolatey

goodness they are supposed to be. Without strange "hints" of culinary experimentation.

(Ginger is for gingerbread - not brownies. I am assuming it would be as bad in brownies as it was in a cookie recipe I tried once. Ew. Chili powder is a perfectly interesting thing to play with...for a little truffle maybe. In a batch of brownies? No way. I love cinnamon...in drinks, on toast, etc. Not with chocolate...)

Really, this is the foundation for the remainder of my brownie rant...


Brownies...

...should never be a platform for boozing or that kind of baking.

Seriously. This is my issue with my mama right now. The last two times she has brought brownies to our house, she has informed us (after I've started salivating over the thought of delicious brownies for dessert) that she has substituted Kahlua liqueur for water. Not milk - Kahlua! It is so gross! Even My Prince finds them unsavory.

(& he'll eat pretty much anything...)

Now don't get me wrong. I am not a tee-totaler. I love a good

dirty gin martini...
...or gin&tonic...
...or glass of red wine...
...etc....

...but I don't want my booze in (or with!) my brownies! That's gross!

My mama claims she does it for the coffee flavor, but we know good&well that woman loves her Kahlua, & welcomes any excuse to open a bottle. She's also been known to break it out as an ice cream topping. =)

(& anyway...I don't get the coffee as dessert thing. I drink black coffee. I like coffee with dessert sometimes. But coffee ice cream? Eh. Coffee brownies or cookies? Meh. Chocolate-covered espresso beans, though, that's a different story...;))

I know that the chocolate&coffee thing is popular. But it's just not my thing!


There are appropriate places for chocolate&fruit to be paired, & brownies...

...should never be one of them.

I think there is a reason that you don't see five or six different chocolate fruit candy bars at every checkout.

Coconut is good with chocolate.
There are some fruits that are good chocolate-covered.
Some fruit flavors even serve as good centers for chocolate truffle shells.

But these are small, delicate bites of a good thing.

A batch of brownies is a big, heavy thing, to have to endure an odd combination of cocoa & insert random fruit here.

& if you're putting fruit (or beet frosting...really...) into it to try to make the brownies healthier - well, that brings me to my final point.


Chocoholics Motto Gift Tags from Bunco Betty's

There are a great many ways that you can eat healthier, or try to lose weight. But comforting, homemade desserts...

...should never be tampered with in the interest of becoming "guilt-free."

You shouldn't have guilt for having a brownie! A whole pan, yes, maybe a little guilt for a little while. But you'll be a lot less likely to want to eat the whole pan, if you get that

gooey,
rich,
sweet

experience you're supposed to get from that one brownie.

(& to be perfectly honest, sometimes having a second one is worth the extra time on the treadmill the next day!)

I know you're all probably tired of hearing me go

& on
& on

about moderation instead of deprivation, & how I refuse to give up my sweet tooth to stay skinny.

(I'm tired of myself.)

So I won't keep harping on it. But let it be known that I will continue to encourage you to bake (& occasionally cook) with real, whole ingredients.

Dessert is meant to be dessert.

Not a salad.
Not a good source of fruits or grains or vegetables.
Not a daily staple.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Straits Garlic Noodles

Now I want to start this recipe post by sharing off the bat, right up front, that I do not want you to plan to make this for supper. Y'all got me? I'm labeling this post "recipe failing."

However, I don't want to be mean, & post this recipe, & have whomever the lovely original author is

find it,
& be hurt,
or upset,
or (worse) angry about it.

So the reason I'm posting this recipe is because obviously I thought My Prince & I would like it. I was disappointed when I didn't like it (after My Prince added God-knows-what-all to his serving, he liked it fine...more on that later, though), & it means that I probably resorted to eating honey nut Cheerios for supper that night. Food has calories in it, even food that's not breaded or deep-fried, & I won't waste the calories or energy on eating food I don't care for.

So I post this recipe today, even though I chalked it up as a failure. Maybe if you

read through it,
& read through my notes,
& view my photos,

you'll catch something that I didn't, & we can rescue this recipe together.

Or maybe you'll have some suggestions for

additions,
or corrections,
or omissions,
or substitutions,

that would add (or subtract) the magic touch that rescues this recipe.

...or maybe we'll determine it's not worth working on any further, & you can share with me a comparable recipe that is fabulous without needing any changes at all!

I found this recipe in People magazine. It is supposed to be the recipe that the cooks use at the Atlanta restaurant Straits (owned by Chris "Ludacris" Bridges).


Straits garlic noodles

  • 2 pounds egg noodles
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons butter
  • 4 tablespoons garlic
  • 4 tomatoes, cut in quarters
  • 2 stems of basil (Thai or regular)
  • 1/2 pound Shiitake mushrooms, sliced
  • 1/4 cup oyster or soy sauce
  • 3 tablespoons sugar
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons black pepper
  • 1 cup bean sprouts (optional)
*Boil egg noodles in hot water for 10 minutes, until tender. Strain & set aside.

*Heat up a wok or or medium-size skillet or pan. When it's warm (about 2 to 3 minutes), add butter, followed by garlic, tomatoes, basil, mushrooms, & strained noodles. Saute for 3 minutes, stirring regularly.

(I used a skillet. I don't have a wok. I doubt that this significantly contributed to my bad outcome, though. Also, this recipe didn't specify whether to use fresh garlic or minced garlic or what, but since the measurement was in tablespoons, I assumed minced garlic would be fine. Any ideas about that? I did use real, fresh basil stems.)

*Add oyster sauce or soy sauce to pan & toss with noodles until fully blended. Sprinkle black pepper & sugar, tossing well.

(I used soy sauce. Do you think omitting the sugar would help this? I don't think I liked the sugar...)

*If desired (this is an option at the restaurant), add protein such as chicken or shrimp, or a vegetable. Plate&serve.

(I did add the bean sprouts, which you'll notice never got mentioned again after the ingredients. I did not add protein, & My Prince & I did decide that that might would have helped the dish. The consistency&texture were fine. It just plain didn't taste great. My Prince added chicken, which may have helped a little, but it wasn't enough to convince me to make it again with added protein. He also added nuts, but they were honey-roasted peanuts, not cashews, so I was appalled&disgusted by that addition. I think he may have added hot sauce, too. His concoction makes me nauseated just recalling it today. I simply drowned mine in soy sauce to make it edible...I love soy sauce! Seriously, though, if anybody has any suggestions, please share. We keep a lot of these ingredients on hand, & this would be convenient if it were better!)


*There is a Straits Restaurant in Atlanta, & I've heard that it's good, though we haven't been. This is supposed to be one of their recipes, but I can't imagine that something so unsavory could be so popular. It's possible that one of the questions I posed to you was the problem. There is also the possibility that there was something lost in the translation between the kitchen & the interview People magazine did with Chris "Ludacris" Bridges.